Dead Over Heels
by SBR Guru
Summary: Harry's day just keeps getting worse and worse. Chapter three added Sorry, now it's REALLY up ! R&R please.
1. Chapter 1: Enter the Me

**Title: **Dead Over Heels

**Author:** SBR Guru

**Disclaimer:** Um...spoilers for the entire series? I dunno. This is very standalone, but references everything across the series.

**Summary: **Harry's got a new case on the workload. Too bad the vampires are moving back into town. He was liking the quiet almost.

* * *

I looked at the case load that wasn't on my desk

I looked at the case load that wasn't on my desk. A big whole lot of nothing. Work had been scarce in the past few weeks, and the cash reserves I had put away had been quickly drying up. Ever since I'd gotten _amorrachius_ sitting in my popcorn tin at home, there had been a distinct lack of the supernatural. Which was good for my health, bad for my business.

I was considering calling up someone, but then I realized I didn't have anyone to call. Murphy wasn't going to offer me a case, not now. Since losing command of SI, I hadn't gotten more than a handful of cases from them. And they weren't looking to hire me now.

Pity was almost starting to look good now.

I tossed away the latest book I was reading in a frustrated manner when the phone rang. I swore, if it was another prank call…

"Harry Dresden?" The voice on the other end asked. It was feminine, oddly familiar. I didn't recognize it right away, but something hung in the back of my mind.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, cooling down. It sounded like a case. "Yea, Dresden Investigations."

"I've got a case for you, Mister Dresden."

I made a small noise of affirmation. "All right. Can I get your name, please?"

There was a moment's hesitation. "Mary." She said, her voice softening in tone. "Mister Dresden, may I see you at…five o'clock today?"

"Sure thing…Mary." I said. She hung up the phone on me. Ouch.

I looked around my office, tugging on my western shirt. My eyes found the clock. It was four-thirty. It didn't give me much time to get ready. But I did some cleaning as best I could. It was _exactly_ five when I heard the knock on my door.

I glanced toward the door, and headed back towards my desk. "Come in." I sat back down behind my desk.

Inside came a woman, tall and black haired. She wore a purple sundress, showing off thin legs. She looked unnaturally thin, like she was just finishing a hungry strike.

"Mister Dresden." She said, inclining her head to me politely.

I gestured to one of the seats. "Hi, Mary, I presume?" She nodded. "Please, take a seat."

Mary did so, smoothing out her skirt as she sat. I thought it strange she didn't have a bag or even anything resembling something she could carry money or even make up in. Thinking about it now, she didn't even wear make up. Her pale blanched skin didn't look too good.

"Mister Dresden," Mary started. "Let me begin by stating I know what you are."

I shrugged. "It's in the phonebook." I said, repressing a joke. That would have just been too easy.

"I also know of what you've done." She continued.

"Ask anyone in the community about that."

Mary gave me a long look. I avoided her eyes. "You killed a Queen of the Sidhe, Mister Dresden. You also killed several disciples of the necromancer Kemmler. And you are a feared Warden. This is why I am intending to hire you."

"I'm not a hitman, if that's what you're looking for, Miss Mary."

"No, Mister Dresden. I need protection." Mary closed her eyes, sighing gently. "I'm being hunted. By a Jade Court vampire."

Oh, crap.


	2. Chapter 2: Just Not My Day

Aw, Hell's Bells.

I balked for a moment. There was no way she could be serious. A Jade Court vampire? I barely even knew they existed. Shiro, the knight of the Cross who was the source of the first sword in my popcorn tin, had mentioned them once to me. He'd called them dangerous. Dangerous to a master swordsman like Shiro smelt like pure disaster.

"A Jade Court." I repeated. My voice held a tone of disbelief.

Mary nodded once. "They're usually isolationists, Mister Dresden, but there are exceptions to ever rule." She opened one of her frail hands, tossing a small figurine of Jade onto my desk. It was of a dragon, ready to attack. "It's the calling card of the Lily Dragon."

I made a little noise to laugh. "The Lily Dragon? That sounds a little…B-movieish."

"The worst assassin the vampire courts have to offer, Mister Dresden." She insisted. "She is responsibly for the death of more of the courts' enemies than even the Red King. She is _dangerous_."

I looked at her across the desk. "And what did you do to piss off the collective vampire courts?" Mary hesitated a moment. "Or am I going to get lied to?"

"I need protection for ten days." She said quickly. "Please, Mister Dresden."

She looked at me, and the look on her face made me more sympathetic. She was desperate, just trying to stay alive. And I was way too nice to turn her down.

"I need some proof that you can pay." I said. I wasn't going to turn her down, but a bit of money right now wouldn't have been too bad.

"I don't have much money, Mister Dresden. But I can offer intelligence on Red Court strongholds, for the Council."

I bit my lip. She had me there. Strike back at the vampires. Win a blow for the living. It was hard to pass up. Something like useful intelligence could turn the war back in the White Council's favor. Nothing I was opposed to at all.

"And I assume that you'll give me this information…"

"Once the Lily Dragon's taken care of and I can be assured of my safety." Mary said.

"Fine." I agreed. "Do you have a place in town?"

Mary nodded her head towards me. "Yes, I do. Paid until the end of the week."

"All right. You're not going back there. Do you need anything from it?" I asked.

Mary nodded. "I need my notebook. It's got all my information, all my notes on the Red Court. It also has some more information that might be useful on the Jade Court. It's in a cipher, however…"

"Great." I murmured. Just lovely. "All right then."

Mary told me about her apartment, and where I would find the notebook. I made a quick call to Thomas so he would take Mary to my place so I could keep an eye on her.

I met my brother in the parking lot of the office building where I rented my office space.

My brother, the Greek god of underwear Thomas Raith, stepped out of his Armored Personnel Carrier he called an SUV. He was dressed in a tight t-shirt, with his long black hair flowing about him with an unfair bounce to it. "So," He drawled. "Who're you dragging back to your cave now?"

"Client." I mumbled. "It's Council business, Thomas. Give me a break."

He gave me a wicked smirk. "Is she cute?"

I looked to him. "What made you even think it was a woman? All I said was that it was someone."

"The fact that you felt a need to be defensive of yourself."

Damn. He had me there. "Just…make sure she doesn't get hurt."

"I'll do that, Harry. And…"

"Yea, I know. I owe you, this is the last one, yadda-yadda."

It was still January, and as such very cold in Chicago. The Blue Beetle, my untrusty car, had barely made it through to the motel that Mary had been staying it. I got out of the car, pulling my leather duster about me. It kept me dry in the weather, by golly, and that was all I could ask for as it snowed.

Mary's room was on the second floor, so I had a little time to think as I trudged up the icy concrete stairs. What was so important about what Mary had done anyway? Who was she even? These were the hundred-dollar questions I'd get answers to later.

I found Mary's room, and pulled out the key from my coat pocket. The door unlocked, and I opened it. But before I could even take a look inside, I was pushed through the doorway by a burst of force. My face scuffed against the carpet as I landed face first. The door swung shut behind me.

I forced myself to turn over so I could take a good look.

"Harry Dresden." A voice said. "Such a pleasure to meet the living legend."

Here I was, Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden, staring for the first time in my life into the eyes of a Jade Court vampire.


	3. Chapter 3: Getting My Butt Kicked

Ever get a feeling you're in over your head? That sort of feeling was starting to come back to me now after a few months of being away.

The Lily Dragon was something a lot scarier than its name advertised. In life, I had guessed the Jade Court vampire had been a woman. But her face looked decayed in undeath, withered like a corpse that had only been put in slow-motion for its decay. In some places the skin was actually black from infection, others rotted away to reveal weakened muscles. She was dressed in a pretty green mandarin gown, with a large sunhat on. One thing I noticed was that the rays of the sun were hitting her. She wasn't affected by sunlight. Oh, boy.

She raised one of her hands, with rotted gray flesh and disgusting green fingernails. In it was an old gun. It looked like something from the Old West, a revolver without the loading chamber. A single-shot gun? This girl had a romantic flare. I could appreciate that, but a part of me wondered what a vampire was doing with a gun.

"Mister Dresden," Despite her horrendous appearance, her rotted body, and the gun, she had an extremely beautiful voice. Melodious.

"The Lily Dragon, I presume."

"Correct. I know you were recently contacted by a woman named Mary."

"Why, jeez, was that her name?"

A snarl escaped the Lily Dragon's throat. "Do not mock me, wizard."

"And don't make me angry." I retorted. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

A little laugh escaped the Lily Dragon's throat. "Cute. I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse, Mister Dresden."

Wait a minute. Did a bad guy just get my reference and then subsequently hit me with another line? What kind of parallel universe was I in?

"All right, then, Lily, give it to me."

The Lily Dragon made a soft noise, then started. "Hand over Mary to us. She holds vital secrets of…unnatural design."

"Unnatural?" I questioned. What did vamps think were unnatural? She was a living corpse.

"Unnatural." She repeated. "She holds the secret to magic no being, mortal or otherwise, should hold. Give her to me, Mister Dresden, and I will spare your life."

I had a counter offer. Holding out my hand, I yelled. "_Forzare!_" I had three rings on my fingers, all set to gather kinetic energy as I walked. Now, for one step, that's not a lot. But each of those rings, after walking and running miles every day? That left me with some serious kinetic energy.

The Lily Dragon was literally blown out the door of the motel room and off the railing, leaving me with a way out. I picked myself up off the ground, running outside.

Lily had been blown out into the middle of the parking lot, but in some feat that I would never see again, had landed on her two feet in a perfect _plie_. She drew a bead on her pistol. I ducked down, not expecting what actually happened.

There was no gunshot, firstly. Instead, the air all around me got cold. I looked to where the shot had hit above my head. It had taken out the entire wall, more like a rocket than a pistol shot. What the hell was I into?

A bit of rubble fell on me, my duster absorbing the shock. It still felt like hell. I rolled off the ground, running down the stairs to the parking lot. I looked towards the Blue Beetle and saw Lily Dragon standing between me and it. Hell.

I raised my blasting rod, shouting out a spell. "_Fuego!" _A burst of fire shot from the tip of my blasting rod, but the Lily Dragon merely hopped out of the way with unnatural speed. Damn vamps. I rushed across the parking lot, trying to find the Lily Dragon in my sight again.

She was gone. Where'd she ran off to? The entire parking lot was empty now of human life.

This was all too weird. That Jade Court had absorbed up a blow that would have ripped the flesh off a human being. I was starting to get worried now. And who the hell was Mary?

I made it home eventually, heading to my basement apartment. Mary was on the couch, lying down. Thomas was there, holding a shotgun pointed at Mary's chest.

"Thomas!" I shouted at him. "What the hell?!"

"Harry, this isn't what it looks like. She's Mavra, Harry."


End file.
